Being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor. Even if she doesn’t explicitly say it, what the bride is telling her maids is, “My wedding will be even more meaningful with you standing up there with me.” That’s powerful and beautiful — and it comes at a price. There are things you need to do to help the bride have the best day of her life.

Here’s a list of five crucial things every bridesmaid should do leading up to the wedding.

1) Ask the bride right away how you can help. The answer might be something major or something minor — or sometimes nothing at all. It doesn’t matter. The important thing is she knows you’re there if she needs you.

2) Keep yourself under control at the bachelorette party. Have a good time and make sure others do too. But, don’t overdo it. Don’t put others in the awkward position of having to babysit you because you’ve overindulged.

3) You’ll wear the dress and you’ll like it. While we’ve no doubt your exquisite personal style would lead the gathered crowd to erupt in a chapel-shaking standing ovation were you to appear in your own clothing, the fact is the wedding is not your fashion showcase. Have your bridesmaid dress tailored to fit perfectly and wear it with pride.

4) If the bride wants your opinion, she’ll ask for it. It doesn’t matter that the colors aren’t your taste or that you prefer cloth napkins or that the hired DJ doesn’t play your favorite style of music. Don’t kill the joy with killjoy opinions. Your job is to smile and be supportive.

5) Spend time making memories together. Carpool for the wedding dress search. Meet at the florist’s to plan the arrangements. Listen — this one’s a biggie. Whether you’re having lunch, chatting on the phone or sitting in the chairs at the nail salon, always offer an attentive ear.

When the wedding is done and the bride reflects on the whole experience, you want her to think of how glad she is that you were a part of it because your support made it even more amazing.